I seem to have left my pride at pride
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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