The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
