sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
