We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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