Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
