I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Come see our sink grown plant.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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