So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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