Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
babies were throwing up all over the place
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
