I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
