I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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