is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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