Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This baby is an asshole
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
