He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
