I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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