Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
