Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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