On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
