google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
