Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
