Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
