she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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