Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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