My balls are so social today.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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