The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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