What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
