i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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