I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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