Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
