Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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