And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
