I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
