I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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