Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
