areolas are like halos for boobs.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
