i permit you to call me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
