I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
