He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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