It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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