i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
