i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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