The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
