woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
