Plan B is the new Plan A
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
