The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
