Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
