i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
