Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
