theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
