so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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