I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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