alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize
